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Mrs. Nitika Kaul Dhoundiyal, wife of Maj Vibhuti Shankar Dhoundiyal, martyred on 18 Feb 2019, pays tribute to her husband on the 1st anniversary of his “Day of Martyrdom”…
As we observe the first anniversary of my husband’s “Day of Martyrdom”, I am surrounded by thoughts of disbelief, pain, and emptiness. The treasured moments passed with him have now taken over the role of a support system that is gradually teaching me to pick up the pieces in life.
I often read my diary to revisit my earlier thoughts and bring Maj Vibhuti Shankar Dhoundiyal (Vibhu for me) back alive. My diary tells me that… when he was away serving in the field area, I would often wake up in the night to check any message from him. He would invariably come in my dreams smilingly and would hold me tight. I would beg him even in the dreams not to leave me alone. Those were the days I did not want to wake up and probably that was my way to escape from reality.
I know that with time, people accept the situation and move on, but for me, life can never be the same again as the “scar” of his absence has left an indelible mark on my psyche. I still remember the moments that took away parts of my soul. I lost a part when I first heard the news of his “Martyrdom” and another part when I had to sign documents, where his name was written as “Late Maj Vibhuti Shankar Dhoundiyal” and my name, had a title of “Widow”.
Besides being a committed soldier, Vibhu was a fabulous human being and taught me many things about life. I learned to be focused and understood the significance of being passionate in life and most importantly realized the importance of love. I had written a letter to him but by the time it was ready to be posted, it was too late. It indeed summarized my feelings for him….” Vibhu, I wish I can tell you how much I love you. Every day seems to be a new struggle but I can’t tell you about that. I know you are busy with your work and I don’t want to burden you with my worries. But honestly speaking I am quite scared at times. You are my life. When I look back I realize the importance of love. You have made me a different person. I miss the moments when you hug me and say hey Nikki I love you. I remember whenever I had nightmares you always hugged me tight saying” it is all, okay I am here love”. Just always keep me close. It seems so long since I saw you and am waiting for you to come home.Here I imagine a world for us. Vibhu, I am so proud of you and I love you”.
These days sometimes when I go to my balcony and look at the stars, I observe their brightness flickering randomly. However, this random pattern, gives me a feeling that Vibhu is trying to communicate with me. I wonder, if Vibhu is one of those stars and is engaged in narrating our love story to other stars. But I am very certain that wherever he is, he will make sure that others around him are always smiling.
I miss Vibhu, my soldier and my soulmate, but as a martyr’s wife I am committed to do everything that would have made him proud….my small contribution to the nation he loved and gave his life for….
Jai Hind!!
Nitika Kaul Dhoundiyal
To send messages to the family members of Maj Vibhuti Shankar Dhoundiyal, please click on https://www.honourpoint.in/